The Top 10 Philosophy Questions of All Time, Answered!

10. How do I know anything really exists? - Kick it *really* hard.

9. What is the essence of being human? - Not understanding the opposite sex.

8. If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? - Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.

7. How do I know I'm not just a brain in a vat, hooked up to a computer simulation of life? - Look in the mirror. If you see a gray, spongy thing in a glass container, you are.

6. Can our minds exist separately from our bodies? - If they coould, we'd just send our minds to class and sleep in every morning.

5. Is there a God? - A billion Hindus can't be wrong.

4. What is the nature of Knowledge? - I'm still trying to figure out the nature of *college*.

3. What is the meaning of life? - All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.

2. Why get a Philosophy degree? - It's more respectable than a theater degree, but you still get to drink lots of espresso.

1. So, was Kant on drugs or what? - Probably.